Faith

Completely stolen electricity

My city

Getting ready to fit everyone in the car to go eat dinner

One of our Bible studies in Colonia M

How easy it is to say that we must trust in God when times are good, when things are going well, when we understand what we are "supposed" to do with our lives. But what about those of us who just don't know?

The last few months have been crazy fruitful in my ministry here. Doors have opened without us doing anything to open them. But ministry is still hard. Example: in Colonia M we invited one particular lady to study the Bible I don't even know how many times...time after time after time we asked her. She came some, but sporadically and finally quit coming altogether. We had essentially given up. And then one day months later she sent us sweet bread through her daughter with an invitation to come visit her. So we went. We talked with her, and what do you think she wanted? To study the Bible and to pray. Amen. So we started studying with her. Once a week we went to her house and studied and then one day she invited a friend and so now we study with both of them. And then one day the friend invited a friend. Today we studied with all three. And these 3 friends have another friend that has come on occasion. And now we study twice a week with them and pray and we are able to invite even more. This is the definition of the Holy Spirit working. How many times did I invite this lady to study the word? But it was God's time, and with his time 3 more ladies who wanted to study. Crazy right? Or not so crazy at all if we know Jesus :)

My work here is like that. I try and fail. I share the word and see no change, no fruit. I exhaust myself trying to reach people that don't want to be reached. I share with people and think they understand and then with one sweeping statement I realize they haven't heard a single word I said. I pray and receive no immediate answer. I open my mouth to speak and out comes what I think is good spanish until someone, with a seriously crushing blow, reminds me that its awful. This is life here. But then one day, someone wants to know more about this Jesus I have been trying to share about. And I realize how small my faith has been.

I hit this point today. Wednesdays are very busy days for me right now...and usually at the end I just feel frustrated. I felt frustrated at the end of today. I cried out tonight to God and then remembered all the other times in my year here that I have done this exact same thing. Pleadingly cried out to my Daddy for answers, to remind me of his love, to give me words to speak and love for these people. And more than anything, to complain about the fact that because I see no answers, I feel completely unworthy to share at all. And then I stood up and apologized.

Honestly, today was a hard day. It was long, tiring, and altogether seemingly unfruitful. But I declare in faith that God is in control. He knows what will happen. I had to put all my cares at his feet once again. How many times have I picked up my cares again after laying them down? I prayed that he would be merciful with me if I try to pick them up again. I put in his hands my ability to share his word, I know that God uses the weak and foolish to shame the wise - may he use my weakness and my foolishness for his glory. I put in his hands my future - where I will live, my transportation once I return home, where I will work, if I will study, renewing friendships, all of my fear. And I asked for renewed love and passion for people. Renewed love for the lost, downcast, hurting, overlooked, oppressed, and poor. When I see no fruit and I see no answers I know I must have faith.

I have seen glimpses of fruit and like that study that suddenly popped into existence in Colonia M, I have seen incredible answers. Faith - yea, easier said than done :) But God is so merciful.

I currently have so much going on that I feel like to write about each thing would be even longer than everything I just wrote ;) So I have a new idea. "Specifics." I know that I have a lot of prayer partners out there that are keeping up with this blog and are wholeheartedly praying for my ministry everyday. What I would like to do is ask you guys to really commit to praying for a specific person or event every day. If you are willing to take on this commitment I will send you a list of "specifics" and let you choose according to what God puts on your heart to pray for. The list will contain specific people, families, or events to pray for and I will do my best to keep you informed of the prayer needs of your assigned prayer request and updates. To be honest, I have a really hard time praying for everyone and everything in my life right now, so I would be super excited to know that people at home are praying diligently for specifics. If you want to be one of the people praying for the "specifics" please send me an email and let me know you want to commit to pray everyday for a "specific."

I know I have said this a lot, but I just want to say again that I truly appreciate your prayers, notes, and encouragements. We are the body of Christ and I am so thankful to be edified through you.